Life after Breakups? Life after a sexually fuelled relationship??

So how does it go? How does your life go after a breakup?? I remember speaking to a fren about his relationship. He was like a jailbird, having to go back to his gf's home everyday, hardly being able to go out with his frenz, simply because she wants him to accompany him. He shifted to her place because she wanted him by her side. What about your parents i asked? Is there anything wrong going on at home? "No", he said. Its only because he thinks his gf needs him more.

Well, personally I cant embrace this idea because I'm an extremely family orientated person, nonetheless, I can accept his reason and his belief. Question is, why is he going to such extremes, or rather tolerating such behaviour? "I'm Afraid", he said. Afraid of what? "Losing her". What? This is the god knows how many times I've heard people go to extreme measures just so they can keep the relationship going. Not healthy, definitely a NO NO. To him, he's afraid to lose her because he had experienced many bad relationships before this, yet is this one worth keeping? I mumbled to myself.

Not to say the least, in this generation where premarital sex is widely rampant, he is also unwillingly to give it up. "Words of Apparent Wisdom", many people say, "The sex is good", "The sex was good","It was good while it lasted","Sex was probably what kept things going","I enjoyed the sex" so on so forth.

A big thing to ponder about is, if sex is the thing that is keeping the relationship together, its utterly disappointing. Meaningless to carry on. Yet, YEETTTT I've seen ssssooooooo many countless cases, girls especially, who give up their bodies, giving in to their bf's sexual demands, hoping to keep him, or in worst cases, to win him back. All else failing, what are you going to do? I mean, are you someone who has been engaging in lots of sex with your partner in each relationship you get yourself into?? Is that the idea of commitment,to give yourself the excuse or to convince yourself that it gives you a valid excuse to have sex? I'm not saying its a bad idea or a good one either, point is, if a relationship is sex driven, chances are its not going to last in the long run. Logically, we know we have to give up, yet many of us, find it hard to let go. Its frustrating to see couples like that, but we all know its easy to say, difficult to do..Think about the direction your current relationship is going, and perhaps go through a revision with your partner to guide your relationship in the right direction if you think you are not comfortable with the present one. For the singles, hopefully you have a better idea of what to expect or what to do when you do find somebody suitable.

The question in life is not whether you get knocked down. You will. The question is, are you ready to get back up... And fight for what you believe in? ~Dan Quayle~

Is it the end of the world for you if you fail to find the love of your life in University??

Many guys cant wait to finish their service to start the next phase of their life. University life. The supposedly heaven of highly in demand singles all in search for a partner.. So all that they do the whole time in NS is just to await this promised "land" where they will finally find the love of their life. Therefore, there have been many cases of guys who portray themselves as desperados, hungry wolves just waiting to move in for the kill. Earning the reputation of being Girlfriend stealers, the guy who tries too hard, loser who's just too desperate etc.

Well, I cant exactly blame them becos this seems to be the general belief floating around. When the guys loses his ger while in NS, what do pple say? "Dun worry, there's plenty of gers to choose from once you are in university." When the guy is single in NS and asks pple around why issit that they cant seem to meet any new gers, what do pple say? "Dun worry, there's plenty of gers to choose from once you are in university."
When he's too busy with his NS and doesnt have time to socialise or to start looking for a love partner, what does he convince himself with? "Dun worry, there's plenty of gers to choose from once you are in university."

After 2 years of self indoctrination and extensive influence by those around them, a mental anchorage is established with the belief that UNIVERSITY = FINDING A LOVE PARTNER. Personally, I feel there's no denyin that University life is extremely favourable and conducive for people to start the search for a suitable partner. Many actiivies and events are also tuned towards providing more opportunities for the opposite genders to interact and mix around. I would not go to the extent of saying that you would not be able to find your lifetime partner if you cant find one in the university in one way or another, eg. not studying in university or just focusing on your studies in university. Just that, in the university phase, there is indeed a huge pool of desirable girls/guys to choose from, thus increasing yuor chances of finding a really fantastic partner for yourself.

I'm alarmed that some pple in university are not showing much interest in finding their lifetime partner, binded by the misconception that they will similarly be able to find "THE ONE" in their workplace after graduation even if they cant seem to meet anybody suitable in university. Well, don't they realise that by then, the chances would have greatly diminished due to the fact that the more desirable ones have been taken up or their lack of exposure in meeting more people. Yes, it depends on the nature of their jobs, but I'm just saying in general.

University is not just about getting a degree to open up doors to highly paid jobs, it is also about learning and honing your socialising skills. Don't fret if you have not been successful in the love department, but don't give up. Never give up. Because life is more than just about studying hard and working hard.

It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.
~Theodore Roosevelt~