Your Fault or Her's?
So, what's new? Couple tiffs? Losing your temper with your other half and vice versa?
I was once tol that it is normal for couples to quarrel. Because at least that means that they still care alot for one another.
How then do we decide, what frequency is considered healthy? Is quarrelling on a daily basis considered healthy? Once a week? Or is it dependent on how well an individual can tolerant the frequency of quarrels?
Quarrelling on a daily basis is unlikely to be anything more than two possible scenarios. First up, one party must be getting angry too easily so much so that it results in he or she always in a one way traffic "losing my temper" mode. Second, one party must be an asshole, to be doing things that pisses the other party so very often. It could possibly be a combination of both, but i think its more likely that a relationship has either a person always in "Lose my temper" mode, or an asshole.
The best part about this whole thing is that both parties often thinks that the other party is guilty of the crime mentioned above. The asshole is likely to think that the other party is always in "Lose my temper" mode and likewise the person always in "Lose my temper" mode is likely to think that the other party is an asshole. There isnt exactly a guideline that says what constitutes an asshole and what doesnt. A general rule of thumb would probably be, if your friends tell you that, what your other half has done makes he or she an asshole, it probably means he or she probably is.
Perhaps by now, you are thinking, "Hey, I think my other half is often in a "Lose my temper" mode and I really don't know what was there to be angry about in the first place!
Scenario: You have genuinely inherited a time bomb, a daily one perhaps, waiting to lash out at you or waiting to lose his or her temper at the first possible instance. Its either because its a case of an individual with bad temper, or an individual who unconsciously enjoys the attention or coaxing he or she receives as a result from the temper outburst.
If your other half has a bad temper, it takes guts and tactfulness to inform he or she about this short coming and hopefully things work out.
If it is the attention or coaxing he or she enjoys, then I guess its the individual's choice to continue doing showering such treatment. Or put an end to it by stopping this special treatment and helping your other half realise their less than positive behaviour.
"Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody's power, that is not easy." ~Aristotle~
I was once tol that it is normal for couples to quarrel. Because at least that means that they still care alot for one another.
How then do we decide, what frequency is considered healthy? Is quarrelling on a daily basis considered healthy? Once a week? Or is it dependent on how well an individual can tolerant the frequency of quarrels?
Quarrelling on a daily basis is unlikely to be anything more than two possible scenarios. First up, one party must be getting angry too easily so much so that it results in he or she always in a one way traffic "losing my temper" mode. Second, one party must be an asshole, to be doing things that pisses the other party so very often. It could possibly be a combination of both, but i think its more likely that a relationship has either a person always in "Lose my temper" mode, or an asshole.
The best part about this whole thing is that both parties often thinks that the other party is guilty of the crime mentioned above. The asshole is likely to think that the other party is always in "Lose my temper" mode and likewise the person always in "Lose my temper" mode is likely to think that the other party is an asshole. There isnt exactly a guideline that says what constitutes an asshole and what doesnt. A general rule of thumb would probably be, if your friends tell you that, what your other half has done makes he or she an asshole, it probably means he or she probably is.
Perhaps by now, you are thinking, "Hey, I think my other half is often in a "Lose my temper" mode and I really don't know what was there to be angry about in the first place!
Scenario: You have genuinely inherited a time bomb, a daily one perhaps, waiting to lash out at you or waiting to lose his or her temper at the first possible instance. Its either because its a case of an individual with bad temper, or an individual who unconsciously enjoys the attention or coaxing he or she receives as a result from the temper outburst.
If your other half has a bad temper, it takes guts and tactfulness to inform he or she about this short coming and hopefully things work out.
If it is the attention or coaxing he or she enjoys, then I guess its the individual's choice to continue doing showering such treatment. Or put an end to it by stopping this special treatment and helping your other half realise their less than positive behaviour.
"Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody's power, that is not easy." ~Aristotle~
posted by Edmund at 12:45 AM
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